Islamic Guidance And Counseling Concept For Family Life Readiness Among High School Teenagers

This article explains the concept of Islamic guidance and counselling to help high school students build readiness for marriage and having family life. Marriage and family life readiness is one of aspects in Competency Standards of Independence (SKK) that must be achieved by students at high school level. This concept is similar to the phases and tasks of adolescent development which begin to enter the early adult development phase. The researchers did not find any particularly studies that discuss the concept of Islamic guidance and counseling to help marriage readiness and family life for high school students. Despite the fact that the theme is important to be discussed for further elucidation,the problems eventuates among adolescents, such as premarital sex. The research is conducted by library research method. Researchers also conduct document observations and in-depth interviews with marriage counselor in Religious Affairs Office (KUA), high school principals, as well as high school guidance counselor and school counselor. The concept of Islamic guidance and counseling focused on marriage and family life readiness towards high school students is important to be implementedin guidance counseling services in schools. This concept is uniformly with the phases and developmental tasks that must be achieved by students at the high school level. Therefore, the students obtains fitting information, understanding, and attitudes about how to build family life and face the consequences therein. Content aspects of family life that require from guidance and counseling services include: a) the functions, roles and responsibilities of being family members, b) sexual behavior appropriately, the concept of marriage, divorce, talaq (repudiation),


Introduction
Students, at the high school level in Indonesia, are generally classified into two phases, which are adolescent growth phase and the early adulthood phase. In these phases, they should have accomplished development tasks as a form of self-recognition from the world which they entered into, including forming a stable structure of life.
During their activities in educational institution, students experience various problems that are different from others. The problem could be convoluted to be solved if the root of the problem appears not only from the educational institution, but also from the family and community environment.
Students at school will experience problems that pertain with (Tohirin, 2008): first, individual development;second, individual differences in terms of intelligence, skills, learning outcomes, talents, attitudes, habits, knowledge, personality, ideals, needs, interests, patterns and tempo of development, physical characteristics, and environmental background; third, individual needs of affection, of getting self-esteem, of getting the same award, of wanting to be known, of getting achievements and position, to be needed by others, to feel part of a group, of a sense of security and self-protection, and to gain self-independence;fourth, adjustment behaviorial disorders; fifth, learning disabilities.
In accordance with the characteristics of the adolescent development phase, this phase is where the development of sexual maturity occured, which also the changes and hormones involved. Additionally, the lives of men and women are carried out by sexuality, or puberty.
Adolescence becomes time to explore and experiment in which sexual fantasy, and sexual reality is part of one's identity. Teenagers acquire an insatiable curiosity in order to know deep meaning of what sexuality is. The rootless thought about sexual attraction, puberty, or affection, or sexual activities occured. Most adolescents gradually succeed in forming a mature sexual identity, but most of them withstand the periods that are vulnerable and full of confusion throughout their sexual journey (Santrock, 2003).
Teenagers, who succeed in forming a mature sexual identity, are generally safe on going through a period of their sexual maturity. However, for adolescents who experience confusion in their sexual journey, they are more prone to face peer pressure while building their sexual experiences.
Research conducted by Indonesian Youth Reproductive Health Survey in 2002-2003(Nasution, 2012 found that 2.4% or about 511,336 people out of 21,264,000 adolescents aged 15-19 years and 8.6% or around 1,727,929 people from 20,092,200 unmarried adolescents aged 20-24 years in Indonesia has done premarital sex and shows majority in urban areas (5.7%). Overall, the precentage number of men aged 15-24 years who have premarital sex is greater than women of the same age.
In a study conducted in Makassar (Hidayangsih, 2018), local health center officials selected the sample purposively, in which 30 young men and women aged between 10-24 years who have health issues, married or unmarried in the working area of 4 selected health centers.It was then found that adolescents chose to marry at young age due to pregnancy before marriage.The other reasons is that by cause of the women are uneducated and the customs and culture of the tribes wantsto maintain the property of the offspring. Most teenagers consider premarital sexual behavior as common phenomenon even though they admit that it is depraved, sinful and forbidden by religion. Most adolescents even know how to avoid pregnancy by using contraception and choose to have an abortion in the traditional Prophetic Guidance and Counseling Journal Vol. 1, No. 1, 2020, pp. 35-45 37 way. Many young men claim to have relationship sexually with a reason to seek pleasure. The behavior of watching videos or viewing adult sites is considered normal by teens.
The phenomenon of free sex in adolescents raises new problems such as out-of-wedlock births. Furthermore, the problem of pregnancy before marriage in adultsbuilds various social issues such as arguments about abortion rights, the existence of contraception, and debates about providing sex education in public schools.
Adolescent pregnancy increases health risks for the mothers and the child. The children of teen mothers are more likely to have low birth weight, neurological problems, and childhood illnesses. Teen mothers are more probable to drop out of high school, becomes unemployed and dependent on others. Nevertheless, there are also teenage mothers who continue their education, although they cannot catch up with their peers (Santrock, 2003).
In Indonesia, the problem of pregnancy before marriage is usually more have a great impact on teen women. In some cases, both teenage men and women is doneshotgunwedding to avoid embarrasment, rather than out of the desire of participants.
Out-of-wedlock births in adolescents either countinued with or without marriage, both provides consequences in the form of the emergence of a new role for adolescents as parents at a young age. This role certainly requires qualified knowledge to provide good parenting to children, as well as knowledge about family life.
One type of developmental tasks in adolescents according to Havighurs (Hurlock, 1990) is the preparation for entering family life.The nature of this task essentially develops a positive attitude towards family life, exclusively teen women towards their readiness on having children. Viewed from the biological aspect, normal sexual maturity fosters attraction between the sexes. From the basic psychological aspects, adolescent attitudes towards marriage vary greatly. Some show fear, but some also show an attitude makes marriage is actually a happiness of life. (Ali, 2011) The Indonesian Guidance and Counseling Association systematically specifies that the Competency Standards of Independence must be achieved by students from elementary school to college. This becomes as one of standards that the students in high school must achieve to have better readiness formarriage readiness and having a family life (Depdiknas, 2007).
School counseling services play an important role in achieving educational goals. That role is specifically achieving the independence competency standard that must be accomplished by students according to their development tasks.
From recent research, the researchers did not find any particularly studies that discuss the concept of Islamic guidance and counseling to help marriage readiness and family life for high school students. Despite the fact that the theme is important to be discussed for further elucidation,the problems eventuates among adolescents, such as premarital sex.
Therefore, developing the concept of Islamic guidance and counseling to support marriage readiness and family life amongst high school students becomes essentially important. By focusing on helping the students finding their role, this concept of guidance counseling, additionally, assists themto meet their true nature, and their tasks and responsibilities as servants of God and caliphs on earth. Additionally, this concept can be one of the references for school counselor in high schools to be conveyed to students in order to meet students' competency standards of self-reliance on aspects of self-readiness for marriage and building family life.
In this research, the authors analyze the data by using library research method. To support information requirements, researchers also conduct document observations and indepth interviews with marriage counsellor in Religious Affairs Office (KUA), high school principals, as well as high school guidance counsellorand school counsellor. This information is obtained to complement the concept data of guidance and counseling aspects of the readiness for marriage and having family life, especially for high school students.
Before the research is conducted, the researcher has done an initial reflection, which aims to identify problems and obstacles, so that the authors are to be able to do the planning. Based on preliminary observations of the Guidance and Counseling teacher in one of the high schools, it is revealed that the problems experienced at school that there is the absence of concepts or guidelines regarding readiness for marriage and having family life for high school students. In addition, the teacher was not yet familiar with the subject of marriage readiness asthe school counsellor is still in unmarried status and felt that they did not have qualified insight.
The next phase of research begins with administrative arrangements such as a research permit to the Religious Affairs Office (KUA) and schools to collect data and documents from the counseling department, school principals, and school counsellor.
To collect data, observation and interview guidelines are used. Researchers analyse the data by observing counseling guidance documents at KUA and schools. Before the researcher makes observations, the researcher first determines the aspects that will be observed so that the data obtained is systematic and accurate. The results of observations is gathered by using observation guidelines that contain several factors or indicators of the variables to be measured.

New Paradigm of Guidance and Councelling
Basically, students are human beings who deserve to be developed to build their selfreliance, creativity, and productivity behavior. Therefore, it is important to procure adequate and qualified education system so that all aspects of potential learners can develop optimally.
Education system in formal institutions is concentratedon elevating cognitive development. Nowadays, students are induced to achieve high evaluation scores and be able to absorb all the knowledge taught. Consequently, students lose their imagination, intuition, and creativity. High school and college graduates mostly depend on their peers to find work and cannot capable to create employment opportunities (Willis, 2004).
Given the complexity of the problems mentioned above, there needs to be a service effort for self-development and, therefore, student potential is more directed. Curriculum and administration efforts alone are felt less helpful because schools look very bureaucratic with the aim of increasing the quantity of graduation. The guidance and counseling services itself only exist on school only to deal with the problematic students who have done delinquency, brawling, low learning achievement, truant, dating, pregnancy, etc., and not for developing students' potential (Willis, 2004).
The presence of guidance and counseling services synergizes with the power of management and the power of learning. The strength of management has deep connection Prophetic Guidance and Counseling Journal Vol. 1, No. 1, 2020, pp. 35-45 39 to the success of management and supervision. Moreover, the power of learning relates learning tasks and curriculum achievement. The guidance and counseling services, however,are correspond to activities that seek to help learners obtain welfare (Dahlan, 2014) School administration puts its attention on educational institutions (institution centered). The teaching sector has functions to manage educational activity programs (curriculum centered). For guidance and counseling puts its atten tion in the personality of students and their development (student centered). These three sectors support each other, yet remain independent according to their respective basic functions (Wingkel, 2004) Guidance and counseling in schools need to be addressed again with a new development orientation. The philosophical foundations of this new orientation are (Willis, 2004): 1. Pedagogical, which means creating a conducive school environment to enhance student development by paying attention to individual differences of each students.
2. Potentiality, meaning that every student has the potential to be developed, and focusesto overcome students' fraility.
3. Religious humanism, meaning that students must be humane on the basis of the God. Students as humans are considerably capable of developing their potential.
4. Professionalism, which means that the process of guidance and counseling must be done professionally on the basis of philosophical, theoretical insight, and counseling techniques that vary from school counsellor.
Based on the theories above, the researcher concludes that guidance and counselling in schools play an major important role in achieving educational goals, especially student welfare. Guidance and counseling work together with administrative and teaching functions in schools to optimize the potential of students until reaching graduation.
In this case the school as educational institution needs to improve so that the three functions namely, administration, teaching, and guidance and counseling run as they should. Hence, a new orientation is needed regarding development orientation.

Islamic Guidance and Counseling
The development of science and technology, as well as the practices of political and economic life which are not based on religious morality have led to the development of a materialistic and hedonistic lifestyle among the community, including adults. The further impact of this lifestyle is the spread of moral decadence or the harassment against religious values.
Religion has huge influence upon the mental health of every individual especially in returning society to their nature tendency. Guidance services integrated in religious values should receive further attention of school counsellors or teachers (Yusuf, 2005, p. 153).
In the Qur'an, Adh-Dhariyat [51] verse 56, it is stated clearly that human beings was created solely and perfectly as servant of Allah also to worship Him: And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me.
Beside worshiping Allah, another purpose for humans to be created is to become a caliph on earth, as stated in Surah Fathir [35] verse 39: It is He who has made you successors upon the earth. And whoever disbelieves -upon him will be [the consequence of] his disbelief. And the disbelief of the disbelievers does not increase them in the sight of their Lord except in hatred; and the disbelief of the disbelievers does not increase them except in loss.
Humans are given the mandate as a caliph on earth with the hope that being able to maintain nature.They must also be in line with the main purpose of human creation itself, which is to worship God. Humans responsibility as caliph and servant of God cannot be separated. Both need to go conjointly so that plenarypublic order can be materialized and the goal of human creation can be achieved properly.
In Islam, the representation of individuals that needs to be achieved as in the direction of guidance and counseling is identical to the individual of "kaffah" or "insan kamil". Individuals who are kaffah or insan kamil are individuals who are healthy both spiritually (mental-psychic) and physical. These individuals are able to embody the potential of faith, knowledge,charity, and dhikrin accordance withtheir daily life ability. Operationally, the individuals who are kaffah or insan kamil are competent (Thohirin, 2008, p. 37): first, to think positively as a servant of God whose main task is serving Him;second, to think positively about themselves and other people in their surroundings; third, in realizing the potential of thinking and dhikr in daily life; fourth, in realizing the morals of al-karimah and always doing ihsan (good) in daily life both towards themselves and the environment.
Development of counseling and Islam as a process in helping individuals to develop has several important principles (Willis, 2004, pp. 23 -25): 1. Sharing good news and the excitement in life.

Putting clients as subjects and servants of God.
3. Respecting clients with under no conditions. 4. Applying emotive Islamic dialogue.

Requiring personal examplary character of the counselor.
From the various theories above, researchers can conclude that Islamic guidance and counseling is essentially capable to help counselees on resolving their problems and returning them to their human nature (hijr). This also supports individuals to evolve into kaffah and insan kamil, as servants of God and a caliph. The principles used in Islamic guidance and counseling refer to human nature itself, where there is an equal appreciation for the counselee, an exemplary element from the counselor, and using good and emotive Islamic dialogue. Levinson et al (1978) has studied the phases of human life. Focused on the life structure,he distinguishes life periods into four stages, that are: pre-adulthood stage (0-22 years), early adulthood stage (17-45 years), middle adulthood stage (40-65 years), and late adulthood stage (60 years and above). The overlapping age for 5-7 years is called transition period. Between 17-22 years, a person is in two periods, namely pre-adulthood and early adulthood (Monks, 2002, p. 263) A careful analysis of all aspects of development in adolescence, which takes place globally between the ages of 12 and 21 years, with the division of 12-15 years is early adolescence, 15-18 years is middle adolescence, and 18-21 years is the period of late teens, will reveal many factors, each of which needs to get its own review. In general, puberty occurs between 12-16 years in boys, and 11-15 years in girls. This sexual maturity is easy to occur before adolescence.However, manifestations of other aspects are only clearly seen at the age between 13-14 years (Monks, 2002, pp. 262 -263).

B. Phase and Task of Adult Development
According to Havighurst (Hurlock, 1990), there are a number of developmental tasks that must be completed properly by adult, namely as follows (Ali, 2011, pp. 165 -169): a)establish more mature new relationships, b) achieving gender-based social roles, c ) accepting physical condition, d) establish emotional independence from parents and other adults, e) establish a career, f) learn skill needs to productive occupation, g) establish family life, h) Develop intellectual skills and concepts that are essential for citizenship competence, i) perform civic and social responsibilities, j) meet social and civil obligations.
Researchers can conclude that adults have special place in social structure because they are the future of society. The development that occurs at this time in terms of physical biological, cognitive, and social emotional, is found to be undeniably complex, making it vulnerable development period. Therefore, bad conditions could possibly occur if they do not reach their full potential with support and attention from others. However, on the contrary, good things could also be achieved if the people around the adults understand and choose to facilitate the nature of the phases and developmental tasks of adolescence itself.

C. Self-Readiness on Having Family Life Competency Standards
In learning activities, competency standards are referred to as Graduate Competency Standards (SKL). In the activities of guidance and counseling services, competency standards are known as Independent Competency Standards (SKK), which includes eleven aspects of individual development for students in high school level, even vocational high school.
Competency Standards for Student Independence (SKKPD) are competency standards that must be achieved by students from elementary school to college. For the high school level, there are eleven aspects of independence competency that must be achieved by students. The standard formulation of competence independent for students at the high school and vocational school level is as follows (Depdiknas, 2007): The last aspect is eventually be the development aspect that is about to be achieved at high school and vocational high school level in which students are in the adolescent phase of early adulthood.In the same manner with the task of its development, the aspect of readiness for marriage and having family life also becomes priority to all students. For the introduction phase is to make students recognize the norms of marriage and family. The purpose of the accommodation is for students to respect the norms of marriage and family as the basisof building of harmonious community life. For the act phase is to make the students be able to express their desire to learn intensively about the norms of marriage and family.

A. Aspects of Developing Islamic Guidance and Counseling For Marriage and Family Life Readiness
Self-reliance competency standard for high school students, especially aspects for marriage and family life readiness occurs to be important to be included in the guidance and counseling service program at school. There appears to be important because the aspect is identicallywith the competency standards of student independence and with the phase and development of high school students.
The concept of Islamic guidance and counseling helps to build family life readiness in high school level students. This concept is carried out with the character of development phase and the developmental tasks that must be achieved. In the phase of adolescent development, puberty causes common sexual interest towards the opposite sex.
In accordance with the opinion of school counselor, the relationship with the opposite sex needs to be directed through the counseling guidance at school. The principal affirmed as well that the school strongly supports the existence of counseling guidance which specifically discusses the readiness for marriage and having family life.
With help of guidance and counseling services, students can obtain information, understanding, and attitudes about marriage and family life. This approach shows the notion to minimize the risk of sexual immorality among adults.
Islamic guidance and counseling with the aspect of marriage and family life readiness manage to be done with a religious approach. The counselee receives an award as a subject of counseling guidance and has the potential as an kaffah and insan kamil. Likewise, the counselor should prioritize by showing examplary character, sharing enlivening news and inspiration to the counselee, and expressing emotive dialogue.
The Head of KUA of Dramaga District of Bogor believes that guidance counseling for marriage and family life readiness for high school students can be established through participation between teachers, government agencies, and students parents. The guidance can be held regularly and systematically.
Content aspects of family life that require from guidance and counseling services include: a) understanding the functions, roles and responsibilities of being family members, b) understanding human reproductive health, c) understanding sexual behavior appropriately, d) understanding the concept of marriage, divorce, talaq (repudiation), and reconciliation, e) understanding what birth is, f) understanding the relationships between family members.

B. Implications of Islamic Guidance and Counseling on the Aspects of Marriage and Family Life Readiness for High Schools
The purpose of Islamic guidance and counseling, especially in aspects of marriage and family life readiness in high school students, is that students can have more competently understanding of their role as kaffah and insan kamil to overcome various problems related to marriage and family life.
The exampleof implications that happened in the task of adolescent development and also overcome with guidance and counseling servicesif the problem, such as, adults men or women choose not to behave as their gender roles. In this case, adolescents can be helped through guidance and counseling. Likewise, if there is adult woman have no desire to marry and have family in the future, counseling and guidance services manage to help the teen woman to accept her sex role.

C. Process of Guidance and Counseling Services of Marriage and Family Life Readiness in High Schools.
Done in the form of data services, information services, and orientation services, Islamic guidance and counseling services helps in building readiness for marriage and having family life for high school students.
Collected data services, for example, includes student family data, family status, and student health data. Information services is provided to studentsin the form of information about the roles and responsibilities of family members, adolescent reproductive health, the dangers of adolescent deviant behavior, family norms such as marriage, divorce, talaq (repudiation), reconciliation, and birth, and relationships between family members. For orientation services, marital atmosphere, institutions, and objects to present the experience of family life such as weddings are built.

Conclusion
The findings from this research can be concluded that the concept of Islamic guidance and counseling focused on marriage and family life readiness towards high school students is important to be implementedin guidance counseling services in schools. This concept is uniformly with the phases and developmental tasks that must be achieved by students at the high school level. Therefore, the studentsobtainsfitting information, understanding, and attitudes about how to build family life and face the consequences therein.
Additionally, it would be nicely for the next researcher to continue discussing about Islamic guidance counseling concept for marriage and family life readiness among high school students. The researcher recommends there would be programme or module that supports guidance counseling especially on marriage and family life readiness for high school teenagers.