Islamic Guidance and Counseling Program of Marriage and Family Self Readiness for FAI UIKA Bogor Students

Dating activity is widespread among students even to the point of having an abusive relationship. Dating is an activity to find a partner that is not recommended in Islam. This study aims to find out how the implementation of Islamic guidance and counseling programs of marriage and family self-readiness for FAI UIKA Bogor students. This research was conducted in the Faculty of Islamic Religion (FAI) of the University of Ibn Khaldun (UIKA) Bogor. The research method is descriptive qualitative with a field research approach. Data collection and analysis are collected from interview, observation and documentation techniques. The primary sources in this study is the coordinator and person in charge of guidance and counseling services and three students who were married. While the secondary data sources are the Dean, Deputy Dean, Lecturer, and Chair of BEM, as well as 3 unmarried FAI students. Based on the results of the interviews, observations and documentation it could be concluded that the readiness program of marriage and family at FAI UIKA is implemented as an effort to overcome various cases of dating behavior among FAI UIKA students. The program implementation consists of four components: basic guidance services, responsive services, individual planning, and system support.


Introduction
Islam is a religion that has the concept of marriage as a solution in finding a life partner in the fulfillment of the affection / sexual instinct in human beings. The explanation of marriage is found both in the Qur'an and the Hadith of the Prophet Saw, including: QS. Ar-Rum verse 21 which states that Allah Swt created human beings in pairs (male and female) so that humans feel at ease in love and affection: ‫مودة‬ ‫بينمك‬ ‫وجعل‬ ‫لهيا‬ ‫ا‬ ‫ا‬ ‫لتسكنو‬ ‫زواجا‬ ‫آ‬ ‫نفسمك‬ ‫آ‬ ‫من‬ ‫لمك‬ ‫خلق‬ ‫ن‬ ‫آ‬ ‫ايته‬ ‫آ‬ ‫ومن‬ ‫ور‬ ‫يتفكرون‬ ‫لقوم‬ ‫ايت‬ ‫ل‬ ‫ذكل‬ ‫يف‬ ‫ن‬ ‫ا‬ ‫محة‬ .
"And among the signs of His power is that He created for you wives of your own kind, so that you are inclined and feel at ease with him, and He made you with love and affection. Surely in that there really are signs for people who think. " Whereas based on the hadith narrated by Ibn Majah states that marriage is the sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad Saw: "Marriage is my sunnah, so whoever does not practice my sunnah, means he is not among my group. Marry you guys, because of the truth, I hope to have a large amount through you on the Day of Judgment in the future. " The facts of life today, many Muslims are throw away the laws of Allah Swt. Free association of men and women everywhere including the campus / university environment. Many of the student couples behave in a relationship to find a life partner by doing activities together with eating, hanging out, and traveling (Andriani, 2012). Some even kissing lips as a contemporary dating style (Pinasti, 2015). Even more alarming they are accustomed for having sex with her boyfriend (Suryani, 2015).
Marriage can maintain and get closer to God SWT. As stated by the Prophet Muhammad SAW as an example of Muslims (al-Azizi, 2017, p. 25): "And on the genitals of one of you there is Sadaqah." The Companions asked, "O Messenger of Allah, how can one of us satisfy his lust, then he is rewarded?" He replied, Do you not see! When he channeled it on something unlawful. Doesn't he get sin? So, likewise if he distributes it to something that is lawful, he will get the reward. "(HR. Muslim, Nasa'I, and Ahmad).
In fact, marriage for women is more needed because of the nature of being a mother, getting calm and happiness, getting protection and a sense of security from her husband, maintaining her self-image and having a value before men (husband) (Shalih, 2018, p. 40).
The fact of dating activity also occurs among students at FAI UIKA Bogor. Therefore, how the Islamic guidance and counseling program of marriage and family readiness for students who have been run by BKI UIKA Bogor will be very helpful in order to prevent disobedience and things that are prohibited in religion within the Higher Education. Moreover, there are no legal restrictions on government. The issue of marriage in Indonesia is regulated in the laws of the Republic of Indonesia No. 16 of 2019 article 7 which previously replaced Law number 1 of 1974. The law states that marriage is only permitted if the man and woman are 19 (nineteen) years old. This is in accordance with the age of undergraduate students who average age between 19-23 years.

Research Method
The type of research method is qualitative research through a field research approach. Qualitative field research is a research method for understanding and explaining humans and society by emphasizing careful observations in the passage of time and deepening with indepth interviews (Lisnawati, 2012).

Results And Discussion
The program is defined as the design of the principles and the business carried out (KBBI, 2019). While guidance is directing, giving advice, giving guidance / assistance on an ongoing basis from a mentor (counselor) to people who need to reach their understanding, develop all potentials optimally by using media and guidance techniques, so as to achieve the tasks of independence and be useful for himself and others in a normative care atmosphere (Rahman, 2017, p. 26). While the word counseling is interpreted as providing assistance by the counselor to the counselee in such a way that the understanding of one's own abilities increases in solving various problems (KBBI, 2019).
Counseling in Islam explained by Husairi as one of the duties of Muslims and even becomes an obligation to foster and shape the ideal and trustworthy human beings from Allah to all his Apostles and Prophets, so that they become valuable and beneficial to humans in matters of religion and the world, meeting the needs, problem solving and so on. These aspects of Islamic counseling consist of preventive aspects which are oriented towards protecting individuals from all mental shocks and fortifying them from all irregularities, aspects of development which are oriented towards the formation of Muslim personality in order to become individuals who are optimistic, full of productivity and able to optimize all potentials and his ability, the aspect of therapy which is oriented towards the liberation and release of the individual from all his worries and anxieties and helps him in solving the problems he faces (Husairi, 2016, p. 161).
Rahman also argue that Islamic guidance and counseling is a da'wah approach through psychological approaches in the form of preventive and comprehensive curative both formal and informal by covering the whole teachings of Islam. Islamic guidance and counseling can be carried out through the da'wah approach according to instructions and examples from the Prophet Muhammad. Therefore, the da'wah media in Islamic guidance and counseling can be developed more creatively as long as it does not conflict with Islamic law (Rahman, 2017).
So it can be concluded that the Islamic guidance and counseling program is a design to help direct / advise counselees on an ongoing basis through psychological approaches and preaching in the form of preventive and curative as a whole according to Islamic law.
Islam as a perfect religion, has the concept of self-readiness to get married and have a family. This can be found both in the Qur'an and Hadith. There are at least 6 (six) aspects of marriage readiness. They are financially, mentally, spiritually, biologically, socially and knowledge (Rokhim, 2015, p. 14). Readiness in intentions and goals becomes important in a marriage so that families are formed in accordance with what is mentioned in the Qur'an ar-Rum verse 2. There are three important things that become a solid marriage building, namely calm (sakinah), loves (mawaddah) and compassion (rahmah).
The Faculty of Islamic Religion (FAI) of the University of Ibn Khaldun (UIKA) Bogor, has an Islamic guidance and counseling program for marriage and family readiness for their students. This was stated by both the Coordinator of BKI FAI UIKA and by the person in charge of its services. The background is the existence of cases of dating behavior carried out by students in all faculties of UIKA which are increasingly apprehensive, such as students and college students riding motorbikes and going alone everywhere. Other people including the lecturers rated that there was a relationship beyond that. So, felt the need to direct students to have the shame to behave in courtship because it was an act that was hated by God. It would be far better if a student chooses to get married while studying compared to a student dating while in college.
The inaugural program designed by BKI FAI UIKA for marriage and family selfreadiness for students is a basic personal social service in guidance and counseling, in the form of a premarital workshop / seminar held at the auditorium of FAI UIKA. The workshop took the theme "Married While Studying and Looking for Maisyah, Who's Afraid?" And had successfully influenced students so they were ashamed to have a boyfriend. In fact, after the event many wedding invitations from students to lecturers of BKI FAI UIKA. Although, research has not yet been conducted on the factors that cause students to finally choose to get married while in college. It could be due to the influence of the program carried out by BKI FAI UIKA or it could also be due to other factors according to the BKI FAI UIKA Coordinator to researchers at the interview.
The types of activities in the implementation of the workshop consisted of: (1) opening program, including preparation and opening; (2) the main event, including the delivery of the first seminar resource persons from KUA with the title "Marriage Procedures with KUA" and the second resource person from BKI FAI UIKA with the title "Career Development and Lectures and Preparing for Marriage." Then BKI FAI UIKA followed up the workshop with a focus on providing responsive services and individual counseling for students who needed sharing partners on issues related to the readiness to get married and have a family in the BKI FAI UIKA room on a predetermined schedule. In fact, BKI FAI UIKA also received counseling through telecommunications media both telephone and message or social media such as WHATSAPP and blogs. BKI FAI UIKA accepts many counselees who have problems regarding self-readiness to get married and have a family. This is handled entirely by the person in charge of BKI FAI services. However, if the problem is deemed more difficult to handle, then the person in charge of BKI FAI services will immediately refer the counselee case to the BKI FAI UIKA Coordinator so that the counselee problem case gets a solution to the problem.
In the results of the documentation administrated by BKI FAI, it shows that there is appears to be support from the Faculty for the BKI program to prepare students for marriage and family readiness, such as budget funds, use of space, collaboration with parties outside the Faculty and other facilities that support the smooth running program activities. So that in this case the system support is clearly visible.

Conclusion
Islamic guidance and counseling program of marriage and family readiness for FAI UIKA Bogor students consists of four program components in the form of: basic services, individual planning, responsive services and system support.